It was one such day that suddenly his thoughts flash into her mind and she is left with his thoughts for the entire day. She will not be able to think anything else. It has been five days since he passed away. They were engaged. The loved each other. It was a perfect arranged marriage. They never knew that each other existed before they met in a common friend’s house before six months and they hit it off straight away. “This is the man” she thought when he got down the car and held the door for her sister to step down. He said he felt the same when they wandered around the garden later.
This was the first day in office after his funeral. It looked like he was smiling in the icebox he was kept. He always smiles. No matter what. He would say “Smile! It may make the day for some one or piss them off. Either way you win”. He loved to leave notes on her office desk. Its heart breaking to know that she cannot see anything like that till she moved on.She opened her cupboard and there fell a paper with his scribblings.
Do not weep for me when I no longer dwell
among the wonders of the earth; for my larger
self is free, and my soul rejoices on the other
side of pain…on the other side of darkness.
She couldnt control her tears when she read it. It must have been a joke. He loved to play pranks on her. This is something he always does. When they first went out, she was a bit nervous. It was not like a date where she just can be herself. But after the engagement meeting in a public place and to impress a guy she really loved took lot of efforts. The moment she entered the mall, the toy mickey gave her a chocolate and hug, then the kids who were playing gave her flowers and pointed finger upwards and when she walked to middle of the mall, a balloon burst was heard and flowers started pouring on her head. When she could clear the petals out of her eyes, there he was standing smiling at the first floor. He was too filmy.
Do not weep for me, for I am cradled
in the arms of God. I walk with the angels,
and hear the music beyond the stars.
The second message was clipped and hidden between her never ending sticky notes in her cubicle. It was his handwriting that she could instantly recogonize. He is crazy about writing letters. He never believed in e-mails. He says its mechanical. He would write a 20-25 page letter, neatly envelope it, jump gate, climb to her room at night and throw it to her bed and leave quietly. He did that every day for past six months. Though she knew he would come, she would pretend to be asleep. Just to satisfy him.
Do not weep for me, for I am within you;
I am peace, love, I am a soft wind that caresses
the flowers. I am the calm that follows a
raging storm. I am an autumns leaf that floats
among the garden of God, and I am pure
white snow that softly falls upon your hand.
She fought through the day at the office. Though she really wanted to concentrate in her work, the sympathy look from the colleagues and the messages just brought him in front of her moistured eyes every second. She took him to her office one day and everybody was in their bay, laughing and having the best time of the day, perhaps their life. He had something good to tell about everyone. At the end of the day when they both decided to leave, the team brought her a big pumpkin and did a ritual that would take away all the jinxes on the couple. She felt blessed that day.
Do not weep for me, for I shall never die,
as long as you remember me…
with a smile and a sigh.
The last note fell from the tree where they usually stand and talk while dropping her at her office. He always wanted that 10 extra minutes before going to office. She unwrapping her dairy milk bought by him and he smoking away. She smiled. She sighed and got ready for yet another day with him.
– HK
Hopeless Romantic 